Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
