is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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