No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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