He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
