I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
