I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
