Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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