Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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