Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize