I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
