dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
