i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
im six kinds of drunk right now
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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