If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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