I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
