i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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