I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Randomize
