i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
