she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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