and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there's paper in my vomit.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Randomize
