she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
did you just send me my own nude
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
