WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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