i think my tv is drunk
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
