I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
