I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
