I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
