She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
