She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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