K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
