I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
