I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
