I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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