He uses pillows to masturbate.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
