just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
