8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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