I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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