woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
