They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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