Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
