I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
