I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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