So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
