Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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