I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
