Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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