Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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