i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
