Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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