I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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