I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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