why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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