yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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