Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
