I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
