Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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