I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize