we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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