Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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