i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
