just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
